Expecting a baby can turn the most positive of personalities into weeping, nauseous wrecks, especially in the first trimester. It doesn’t help that society promotes the image of moms-to-be as glowing and serene, placidly playing classical music for their stomachs. If you have a pal who’s pregnant, don’t assume she’s thriving. There are plenty of thoughtful ways to support a pregnant friend without being too intrusive.
She’s probably overwhelmed and suffering hormone whiplash. Because everyone assumes she’s over the moon about the baby, your friend could be feeling down and unable to express it. Let her know you’re there. Send a low-key text offering to pitch in with the laundry or just asking how she feels. Don’t push it. It’s enough to let her know that you’re on standby.
Don’t Talk; Listen
Everyone has something to say to a pregnant woman. Her mother is probably nagging her to eat more chickpeas. Her mother-in-law wants to know if she’s gotten on a preschool waiting list yet, and her coworkers are telling her delivery room horror stories. Be a safe haven. Your friend has a lot to think about and could use a sounding board. If she wants more advice, she’ll ask for it.
Slow Down Activities
Registering for the baby shower, shopping for gender-neutral onesies… these are the fun parts of being pregnant. If only she had the energy for them! While some women truly enjoy these months, others are just hoping to get through the day. Rather than scheduling a jam-packed girls’ outing, stay in to nibble on saltines and cry over home makeover shows. If she falls asleep for a little nap, you know you’ve done your job well.
Cook For Her
Is she hungry? Yes. But her sense of smell may be off, triggering morning sickness without warning. She’s probably given up and is relying on delivered pizzas with odd toppings. Give her a break from the kitchen, but not from the nutrition she needs. Drop off a meal or two each week, and plan to do the same after the baby arrives. Some of the most thoughtful ways to support a pregnant friend are also the most basic. Treat her like a human, not an incubator, so she still feels like herself as she grows into her new role.