There are few things less hilarious than the brutal honesty radiating from a child’s completely unfiltered thoughts. Santa, the Toothfairy, God, and yes – even you – are in big trouble. Here’s a collection of 15 notes written by kids that have no care in the world as to what you think of them. Get ready to laugh out loud (yes, I’m talking to you, awesome person at your desk in a public setting).
1. The Non-Negotiator
“I won’t love you if you make me clean my room.”
2. The Match Breaker
“Dear Dad, I’m so glad that me and Isaac are staying with you! Me and Isaac miss you! I hope you and mom will git back together! But you and mom won’t. Because my mom dose not like you.”
3. The Innocent Victim
“I am running away becas (because) you think I farted when I dident. P.S. You’re mean”
4. The Gratefully Disappointed
“Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy. -Joyce.”
5. The Entrepreneur
“Dear tooth fairy, I lost my tooth on 23 of Oct. Now it is Nov. 12. I lost my tooth in pizza. I lost both today. You owe me $1.00. Not to be hard but I need money. -Annisa”
6. The Saddest Person In The World
“Dear Mom and Dad, don’t bother to give me dinner im not that hungry. love From the saddest person in the world”
7. The Sorry I’m Not Sorry
“Dear Brody, Miss P made me write you this note. all I want to say sorry for is not being sorry cause I tried to feel sorry but I don’t. -Liam”
8. The Grudge Holder/Guilt Tripper
“Mom, Dad I love you but you can’t cut my hair if you do I will never forgive you I love my hair and you don’t love me enough to do what I want for a change.”
9. The Great Observer
“My Mom like’s drinking wine.”
10. The Weight Watcher
“Eric and mom do not take because mom has a but problem and eric takes to much.”
11. The Mafia Boss
“Dear Santa, You better bring my pony this year. Or there will be consequenses.”
12. The Mood Swing Apology
“Dear Mom, you are my favorit mommy ever. I’m sorry for calling you a pice of poo. And I hate you and not going to my room. I love you mommy. Love, your dautre Karah.”
13. The Call Your Bluff Kid
“Dad remember Father and son day, not father sleep’s on his bed day.” (see illustrations for further elaboration)
14. The #NoRegrets Kid…WHAT?!
“When I was eight years old, my neighbour’s dog kept poping (pooping) on my yard so one day I poped on his yard.” The artwork really makes this.
15. Thanks, But No Thanks
“At school I…are stale Cheetos with lunch. Thanks mom.